Exodus

We're out of here.

Heading to the States tomorrow for two and a bit weeks.

Will try and blog while over there.

Chag Sameach to you and your family.

Concrete Jungle

Ventured out to Malha last night for a 7-Blessings.

One thing is apparent about the mall. 14 years down the track it is well past its prime. Outgrown about 100 fold, there is an astounding lack of elevators, escalators and parking.

It is simply too small and badly outdated.

It opened in 1993, the same year as the renovated Central Bus Station in Tel Aviv which is in even worse shape than Malha.

The thing about Malha is that no matter when you go there, there seems to be a sizable crowd present. Word of warning for those reading this. Do not venture out to Malha towards the end of this week or during Chol Ha'Moed unless it is absolute necessary. During this time of year, it becomes like a jungle.

Much Ado About Nothing

That's the thing about soccer/football. It can provide the most spectactular entertainment ever witnessed or it can bore you senseless, making you want those two hours of your life back.

The big match between Israel and England fizzled out to a insipid 0-0 draw. All the acres of newsprint questioning ex-Pat Brits who they would support in the match was all for naught.

Maybe like King Solomon they should have answered that the match be cut in half and both teams given a point.

We are into the full swing of Pesach cleaning except this year there are two complications. We are flying to the States on Thursday for Pesach. Also we bought an apartment in the neighbourhood which we will move into a couple of weeks after we get back. So much of our stuff is now in boxes.

How does it feel?
It feels exciting to be a landowner in Israel but on the other hand, I think all traces of youth are snuffed out of one and you become a fully-fledged adult the instant you become saddled with a mortgage.

So if anyone is interested in renting the place we are currently in, drop me a line.

Sick Bay

Sorry that it hasn't been much of a week for the blog but have been crook the whole week.

Knew it wasn't my week when the shampoo I bought just wouldn't lather. Turns out I had mistakenly purchased conditioner. At least my hair is nice and shiny now.

Came in to work on Sunday and Monday when I probably shouldn't have.
Left early on Tuesday. Skipped Wednesday and now in today although not 100%

Mrs Dot Co Dot Il and Mini Dot Co Dot Il aren't in the best of shape either.

Things haven't been helped by the fact that we have entered that Twilight Zone which is otherwise known as the week before Peasch. The supermarkets are already decked out with all of the K"LP labels.

The wedding earlier in the week was nice although couldn't last the distance. And the table was good.

The most noteworthy news of the week is that in a week and a half we watched 40 epidsodes of Prison Break and are now up to speed with it.

Wedded Bliss

Ventured to the hills of Efrat for Shabbat. Good friend of ours had his Aufruf so we joined in the festivities.

For those of you who havent been to Efrat, it's the place where the hills are high and the clouds are low so you are walking through mist and fog. The wind also blows strong there and you can feel it especially when you are walking into it.

Unfortunately Mrs Dot Co Dot Il has shredded the ligament in her ankle so is walking around rather gingerly and with a cast wrapped around it which she affectionally refers to as Robofoot.

At lunch, everyone was standing up and giving speeches that gave it the feeling of a cross between a 21st and a roast.

There were the mandatory let me prove to you why the couple to be were beshert as well as a couple of speakers doing their talking under the influence.

As it was making its way across the room, I wanted to get up and say something but alas, like George in Seinfeld, I could only think of what to say in the shower this morning. So maybe at the Sheva Brachot....

The wedding is at Ramat Rachel which is where we got hitched. Always nice to go back there.

Will be interesting to see on whose table we get placed. Not true to those who say that it doesn't make a difference where you sit and who with. Makes a massive difference. Last wedding we were at, we were on a shocking table.

Will keep you posted.

Chocolate War

Every week a guy at my work places a container full of chocolates on his desk for everyone to take from.

The bite sized versions of Twix, Snickers, 3 Musketeers and Milky Way Midnight.

And without fail they are eaten in that order relegating Milky Way to be the black jellybean of the quartet.

Found it interesting and thought I would share it with you.

Public Property?

Apparently there was a bit of a dust up between Leonardo DiCaprio, his bodyguards, Israeli police and paparazzi.

I understand that he is a big star and all but give the guy a break. He is visiting his girlfriend's homeland and just wants to be left in peace. It's hard enough to deal with the girlfriend's parents without being hounded by the press as well.

He won't get any sympathy from the public though. It's their demand for photos of him and other celebrities in their glossy magazines which fuels everything in the first place.

Is this complete lack of privacy worth the eight figures he is paid per movie?

Break Out

After resisting we are now into Prison Break. In two days we have watched 10 episodes.

There are only 41 episodes to date so we are catching up.

Good show and the writing is very sharp.

Don't think it would have been made though, had Shawshank not been made.

Best and the Brighest

Good to know that the people of Chelm are alive and well in the echelons of the Israeli civil service.

Went to the famed Misrad Hapnim (Interior Ministry) to register for a Israeli passport.

There was a slight problem with my passport photos as I had had a haircut since the photos were taken.

Interior Ministry Lady: You'll have to take new photos.
Dot Co Dot Il: Why?
IML: Because it doesn't look like you?
DCDI: Because I had a haircut?
IML nods

DCDI: But what about when my hair grows back? Then I won't look like how I do in the new photos.

IML shrugs shoulders and then calls over another crotchety old lady.

(Either they they breed them or clone them there or you have to be one to get the job. Nobody under 50 whose face isn't one long furried brow.)

Other Interior Ministry Lady: He'll have to get new photos.
IML: You have to get new photos.

DCDI trudges downstairs and outside to get new photos.

The Day After

And so it is over for another year.

Here is the final tally:

*3 Seudot
*5 cab rides
*220 minutes waiting in traffic
*73 times fireworks go off and think its a gun or an explosion
*1 lost cell phone
*98 times heard a person say a variation of I really don't want to be here.
*43 best dressed awards won by Yakira.



As you can see, she dressed up as Third Base-person for the New York Yankees. She was higly praised for her outfit, especially for hitching up her pants so it looked like she was wearing stirrups.

Both that and the black lines under the eyes were her suggestion.