Monday, October 16, 2006

Living In America

Please forgive me for the lack of recent activity but was busy losing myself in the land of suburbia.

Suburban New Jersey is worlds away from Israel…

Instead of bland apartment block after bland apartment block you have pristine homes each of which is unique in their own way. Despite the homes being quite large they still have a big front yard and back yard.

Everywhere you look there is grass and trees. Manicured lawns which are now littered by the falling leaves which come in a range of colors. As you drive through the streets the tall trees form a spectacular cavalcade.

What’s a Skoda? This is the land of the 4WD. There must have been a day when SUV’s were handed out because every single person drives them.

The shops are set up in a quaint way. The banks are in little huts and have drive-through ATMs.

Shoprite is a sight to behold. It is a supermarket more impressive than I have ever seen. The produce section puts Machane Yehuda to shame. There would be 14 different types of tomatoes you can choose from or nine different types of mushrooms. Kosher Sushi as well as a kosher deli. Everything you have ever wanted to buy can be found in the aisles on a floorspace which is bigger than a football field.
Most of the stuff is kosher but they still throw in a kosher aisle which has all the stuff from Israel. You have to know though what combinations of a K and a shape are kosher and which aren't.

Then there is Costco which is as big as 4 football fields and has everything you have ever wanted to buy and everything you have never wanted to buy. Shopping here becomes addictive and no wonder obesity is such an issue here. If I lived in this environment where I was bombarded by a saturated and concerted advertising campaign to buy things I would do so as well.

You can also throw in Babies "R" Us, Target, Borders and Barnes & Noble and you can see why there hasn’t been much time for blogging. On the subject of Babies R Us the amount of things you can buy for babies is mindblowing. Won't be easy to adjust to the lack of products in Israel.

There is also the thrill of watching American TV. Most of the stuff on TV garbage but you can watch GSN which stands for Games Show Network and has classics such as 25 year old episodes of Family Feud where you can watch a lecherous Richard Dawson kiss all the female contestants on the lips.

ESPN is obviously attractive but it can suck you in. You start watching the pre-game, then the game which is followed by the post-game. This goes hour after hour, day after day which you think you better go outside and get some sunlight. The big adventure outside is usually to Shoprite.

If games shows and sports aren’t your bag then you have chat shows of which there are lots. Megan Mullally, Ellen, Rachael Ray are on and there is also the View as well as Oprah. At night you have Letterman, Leno, Conan and Kimmel to choose from.

West Orange has a great Jewish community and a great setup here Jewish wise. Its biggest problem is that the young singles aren’t here because they have all gone Pied Piper and fled to Manhattan where everyone else is. So it goes teenagers and then the next level is young married couples who have fled Gotham looking for a house to bring up their family.

West Orange feels like it has been placed in the middle of a forest and everywhere you look you see squirrels. I also saw my first real life blue-jay and skunk. Spoke French to the skunk but he didn’t answer back.

Famous residents here include Thomas Edison, Scott Wolf and Ian Ziering. I guess that means Nikki Schieler Ziering used to live here...

And to think I got excited about seeing a squirrel!


Blogger AnySara said...

Wow, I've never heard life in suburbia so glorified... :) And to think I dread having to go to Costco and won't even think about Babies R' Us... Different perspectives, I guess.

Don't even get me started on the type of people who drive SUVs...

6:46 AM  
Anonymous ifyouwillit... said...

Sounds like you need another dose of Israel. Have you forgotten the unique look of Baka's Old Arab Houses? Katamon's tree lined streets such as HaRav Berlin? And as a former Skoda owner, I must say they are great cars!

Hope you're having a good time - but come back soon, I could do with an evening with 1kg Pasta ;)

9:56 AM  
Blogger RR said...

American suburbia...damn but I do miss it at times! What I wouldn't give for a Target here!

2:02 PM  
Blogger Sara with NO H said...


I don't think I've ever seen a skunk.

4:53 PM  
Blogger BagelUndertheCouch said...

monsieur "rocks."
glad your trip

6:01 AM  
Blogger anonym00kie said...

i cant imagine life without squirrels and skunks.. but kosher sushi would be a nice addition..

it really is overwhelming tho, isnt it?

8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Scott Sanders ? Famous ? Think again ...

7:36 PM  

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