Three's Company

There is nothing quite like the feeling of holding your new born child in your arms. After nine months plus 10 days of pregnancy as well as quite a lengthy labor, I can tell you that every single second is worth it.

Getting married is great but seeing the fruits of it is just amazing. Anyone can get 'knocked up' but when it comes on the form of an act of love and commitment it can’t be described in words.

Holding Yakira and naming her were just incredibly special moments but of course all credit must be given to Mrs Co.Il who did an exceptional job. I am both very lucky and privileged to have her as my wife and the mother of my daughter.

“Enough of the mushy stuff”, I hear you say. “Give us the dirt!” So here it is.

Let’s go back in time 100 years, all the way back to Tuesday.

Tuesday August 29

6.30am
I go to work in Tel Aviv because there is no point sitting around doing nothing.

11.00am
Mrs Co.Il is seeing her doctor and I am on red alert waiting for the call.

11.30am
Get the call that they are going to begin inducing her and I should make my way back to Jerusalem.

11.45am
Get on the bus.

12.30pm
The bus breaks down just on the outskirts of Jerusalem.

12.35pm
Get into a passing bus which lets us all in.

1.20pm
Arrive at hospital. Mrs Co.Il is hooked up to a monitor and the baby is moving well and has a good heart beat.

2.00pm
Sitting in the waiting room.

3.00pm
Get up to stretch. At this point I should bring up that the waiting room was pretty crowded and there was a steady stream of people coming in and out the whole day. Suffice to say that most of them are wearing Crocs.

3.45pm
Told to go and take our stuff to the inducing room where they will begin the process.

4.20pm
Chilling in the confines of the inducing room waiting to start when a screaming woman is rushed through and they begin the process of delivering her baby. Normally they wouldn’t use the inducing room for delivery but things are so crazy that there are no spare beds. Her scream was the most primal thing I have ever heard. As if like Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters she was taken over by some other spirit or being. Suffice to say my comments don’t go down too well with Mrs Co.Il.
Evicted from the room and sent back to the waiting room.

4.30pm – 11pm
We are just sitting around waiting for someone to tell us what is going on. After a while you get used to the fact that hospital time is not like how time is on the outside.
In the hospital, five minutes means one hour. Soon is 90 minutes. Just a sec is three hours. The sooner you understand and come to terms with this, the better.

Thankfully there is a new mall at Hadassah-Ein Karem which has an assortment of shops and eateries. They are all fine as long as you don’t mind spending 45 NIS for a sandwich and 24 NIS for a cup of coffee.

After a while start thinking that a hospital is pretty much like an airport. You spend long amounts of time just sitting around waiting, food costs a fortune and isn’t very good and after a while, you forget what the time is or even the day. The nurses are like the stewardesses and the doctors are the captains.

11.00pm
We will call it a night. My in-laws go home to get some rest while Mrs Co.Il and I will sleep at the hospital so we can start early the next day.

Wednesday August 30
12.00am
Lying on a linoleum floor by the side of Mrs Co.Il’s bed. Uncomfortable and my neck hurts but so tired that it doesn’t matter.

5.00am
Get the call that a room back in the inducing room is open so we make our way down there.

6.30am
They hook Mrs Co.Il up to the monitor.

8.00am
Move Mrs Co.Il back to the inducing room where we were almost a day ago. They are about to get the Pitocin hooked up.

8.30am
Does every single person who works in the hospital wear Crocs as well? Is it because they all get a discount? Did they go bare foot before Crocs?

11.00am-3pm
The Pitocin is doing its thing but still only 3cm.

3.00pm
Pain is starting to kick in and epidural is the only way to go. Mrs Co.Il wanted to try to go the distance

4.30pm
Go get something to eat.
Bump into our friend, Shula at Café Ne’eman. Shula works in the hospital and her grandmother lives in our building. It’s also Shula’s birthday today. Happy Birthday Shula.

7.00pm
Have now gone about 30 hours without any internet access. Unless it’s Shabbat or Yom Tov usually only go about 30 minutes without.

8.00pm
Joni, our excellent doula, is doing her thing. Calming the nerves of Mrs Co.Il and focusing her energy. Now about 5cm and the effacement is excellent. We could have a daughter in a couple of hours.

11.00pm
Go to the 24 hour Aroma where I get an omelet sandwich. Maybe they could make a sequel to the Terminal about a guy trapped in a hospital.

11.30pm
We’re now up to about 8cm and we could be in business awfully soon.

Thursday 31 August
12:00am
The doctor is now here and has had a look. We are a go and the four of us (Mrs Co.Il, Doctor, Doula and Dot Co Dot Il) are about to get ready for the final push.

12.15am
Pushing on the contractions and making some great progress. My job is to hold Mrs Co.Il’s hand and help her to try and channel her efforts when she pushes. She does three pushes at a time each of which goes for 10 seconds. In between we breathe, regroup and chill.

12.45am
She is making her way and we can see the head. In-between the pushes we can hear the whimpering of the grandparents-to-be who are awaiting their first grandchild.

12.50am
More pushing. This is it. In a matter of moments we are about to have a daughter. Couldn’t be more proud of Mrs Co.Il. Her dedication and efforts have been phenomenal and she single-mindedly averted the chances of having to have a C-section. After being induced and having the epidural she doesn’t want to give in on the C-section.

1.00am
The baby slides out and is beautiful. Amazing to think that, with the help of Hashem, we were able to create a person. She has a cute little nose and adorable little hands. At first glance, her face looks like mine but from the waist down, she looks like Mrs Co.Il.

1.01am
Everyone is in tears.

1.05am
I cut the umbilical cord and do it without passing out.

1.07am
Mrs Co.Il is holding our baby and getting to know her. Kodak Magic Moment time.

2.30am
With a nurse, I accompany my daughter upstairs to the newborn section. Feels weird to say 'my daughter' but I can get used to it! She is there with all of the other ones. They do some tests on her and then she gets some sleep.

3.30am
Get home. Turn on the TV and see the Yankees are playing the Tigers. Watch an inning and then go to bed.

6.30am
Get up and go to shul to name her.

So that is it in a nutshell. Have probably left out a heap of details but the last few days have been a blur. Having a Shabbat Bat tonight so if you are in the area, pop round. We’d love to see you.