Thursday, May 25, 2006

When Two Become One

If you had a mid-week wedding in the Diaspora you would wonder what was wrong with those people but this is just another part of life in Israel which we simple accept and get on with. Shame too because Sundays are perfectly geared to be a day to have a wedding on.

Even here, mid-week weddings can be a tricky proposition where the timing is crucial. Start too early and no one will turn up. Start too later and your guests will be leaving before the first dance bracket.

In Australia we didn’t have the buffet beforehand. That came before the meal as opposed to before the chuppah. It is a pretty intense time. Everyone is sizing up each other out and checking out what they are wearing. The comments are flying thick and fast with occasionally the faux pas of doing so when the person in question is within ear shot.

When you are standing around in the midst of random people its amazing what you hear. Further still, it’s amazing what people will say about their friends when the friend is on the other side of the room. “Gee that person’s sheytl looks simply disgusting” and when the person in question approaches Kiss/Hugs and “Why, how incredible you look!” I guess that’s what friends are for – to talk about and trash behind their back when they aren’t around. Another one of the fine aspects of humanity along with road rage, domestic violence and farting in elevators.

But make no mistake it was a fantastic and emotional chuppah. Smack bang in the middle of Jerusalem on the precipice of Yom Yerushalayim, what better way to spend it then to see two great people start building their Bayit Neeman Be’Yisrael.

I am still new-ish to attending weddings as a married person. The vibe is very much different. First and foremost having been through a wedding yourself you now know and appreciate all the preparation and work that goes into one. So now, to just have to shower and whack on a suit and tie to get ready feels great. But the difference is more than that. You can now just enjoy the night without feeling pressure.

The Wedding Crashers may have been released last year but it wasn’t a Chiddush of any sort. Weddings are the most conducive environment for meeting a potential shidduch. With love and romance heavily in the air, everyone dressed-up to the nines and possibly had a few, it’s hard to be single and not wonder when it will be your turn to march down the aisle.

It’s also interesting to note how you graduate from table to table.
*You start off in a pram by your parent’s table.

*Move on to not being invited because you are too young.

*If it’s a family wedding and you are a kid you are lumped with the other cousins your age.

*If it’s a family friend’s wedding and you are a kid you are lumped with the other family friends your age.

*Once people your age start to get hitched you will be on the singles table. But this means you can still end up anywhere depending how they decide to classify you. It could be anything ranging from sorting you out by eye-colour to height. Often your night will be made or ruined depending on which table you are on. Put on a table with people you don’t know or can’t stand and you could be a good chance of spending the evening alongside Johnny and Jack. This is another one of the good things about being married – the stress about which table you are on is virtually non-existent.

*X-Factor is if you are there and so is your Ex or Ex's. The effort required to keep you two apart plus any other exes there besides you, turns doing the seating into something more resembling a Sudoku.

*If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend you could be with the other couples who are dating or back with the singles if that is where all your friends are.

*Same if you are engaged but you have the flexibility of being sat on the married couples' table.

*Married and you will be with the other married couples and this can be either married’s with kids or married’s without kids.

At weddings in Israel it’s amazing the disparity between what the guys wear and what the girls wear. The girls really make an effort to look good spending hours getting the hair, the shoes, the accessories, the dress and the make-up all ready.

You get the feeling with some of the guys that it took enough convincing that they come wearing pants. Some didn’t have socks, some had sandals and socks and there are lots of poor unfortunate souls out there who didn’t get the memo that cartoon character ties really are out.

Not that I have to worry about the fashion memos anymore. My wife dresses me.


Blogger ifyouwillit said...

One thing I learned early on... Israel has no dress code, although for the most part, last night looked quite formal.

Table plans are another thing I associate with diaspora weddings, but each to their own. There is a strong argument for and against seating your guests just where you want them.

The couple looked ecstatic and the wedding was a throughly enjoyable occassion.

11:05 AM  

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